We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize