I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
