I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
