so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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