They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think a kid would responsible me up
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
