great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
