Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
