my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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