They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
