im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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