You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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