don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
