my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
