she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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