Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
