Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
