So many bounce houses so little time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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