Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
