So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
