I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
