yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
