I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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