ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
