He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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