Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
