Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
