when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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