Buhtt sex?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you win again, gameday.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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