I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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