CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
