Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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