grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Houston, we have a squirter
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
