There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
