Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
