there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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