paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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