sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
