apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
