I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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