I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
