is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
