theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
