I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
