If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
