so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
