i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Randomize
