Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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