The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
