I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize