The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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