Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
