you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
