we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
