don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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