I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
