You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize