Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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