you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
