Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
