I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
