is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
