That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
