Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
