Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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