yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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