I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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